As a college professor (going into my 12th year) not a semester goes by in which a young woman doesn’t come to me with the heart wrenching story of acquaintance rape or dating violence. In semester’s past, I’ve begged students to at least seek counseling if they were resolved to keeping this a secret. In many of the instances, these enterprising young ladies, have their spirits broken by men that they have to attend classes with, eat with, share social space with and even have to deal with some of these guys harassing them to make sure they keep this dirty little secret.
Today was my breaking point. An individual came to me in tears and shared such a graphic story that I almost vomited. What sickened me wasn’t necessarily her account of what amounted to a gang rape but the fact that by a process of elimination I could identify the perpetrators...who I will have to teach in coming semesters. I fought back tears as she sat crouched on my sofa blaming herself for being intoxicated, for not going home…for going out in the first place. I assured her that this reckless disregard for human life was not her fault and that somehow, some way, we need to begin the healing process.
Out of respect for this young woman, I won’t share any other details of this traumatic experience, but I will offer this. As campus administrators, I believe we have a responsibility to make sure our students are safe, have access to counseling and support when needed, and that there is due process when appropriate. I have vowed not to let another semester go by in which a young women pours her heart out to me and shares the gruesome details of a sexual assault. I praise God everyday that this has not been a part of my personal lived experience as a woman but my heart has been pricked one too many times by horrific accounts of what so called guy ‘friends’ do in a moment of “drunkenness” and extremely poor judgment. Rape is a heinous crime and it permeates college campuses across this country. We need to take a stand to educate our young men and young women about these life changing acts of violence which rob so many bright college students of their vigor and zest for life. I don’t have a plan but I know something must be done - - beyond the resources that colleges and universities offer because they aren’t working.
For those of you who walk in my same shoes, blessings as you go to campuses as mentors, mother figures, sister-friends and confidant and please share your thoughts, opinions and solutions to this hidden secret.
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