Creating A Culture Where People Aren't Afraid To Speak Up

After a few weeks of being away from the mass media and consumed with other personal things I returned to reality, only to find the media clutter with more shootings, a horrific midnight theater massacre and the demise of a storied football and academic program. Even the Jackson Family feud got me thinking about something the president of the NCAA said as he announced the sanctions against Penn State, "We need to create a culture where people aren't afraid to speak up."



Those words couldn't hold more weight. We live in a world where the status quo is acceptable and/or seldom challenged; where we see wrong being done on a regular basis and stand silent and in other instances remain voiceless because we’re are forced to be silent for survival sake. I too may be guilt of being afraid to speak up because the culture in which I live or work isn't always conducive to voicing my opinion or even stating the obvious. At times it is hard to state the facts. As a communications professor, I know firsthand that it is the appropriate mix of verbal’s, non-verbal cues, empathy, correct information and the right constructs that make delivering information to others worthy. However, as I look deeper into what one really means when they say creating a culture where people aren't afraid to speak up, what is being suggested is that there is a level of accountability, respect and concern for self and others that motivates each of us to speak up when the situation calls for us to.


We can't continue to notice signs and ignore them. We can't sweep unethical behavior under the rug because of the individual who may be committing the unethical act. We can’t allow those around us whom we claim to love make reckless decisions without offering compassionate and constructive criticism of their actions.  It is heart wrenching to see so many young men hurt by one trusting coach; devastating to see an entire national perplexed by the deadly actions of one loner; painful to see three children thrust into the limelight at the center of a family feud; hurtful to see lives lost each day in urban cities where no one is willing to speak up; horrible to see unethical hiring practices and misuse of funds in school systems (right here in my own state of Delaware)…the list goes on. In many if not all of these examples there is someone who is turning a blind eye to what is going on, which increases the chances of more people being hurt. 



We shouldn’t think of ourselves as rats, feminists, activists or vigilantes if we speak up to right the wrong.  When we speak up against things that are immoral or unethical, we are doing what is biblical right and we are showing others true character and the strength of our faith and respect for mankind.



Let’s us all do our part to create a culture where we can have our voices heard.

UGH...Forced to Co-Sleep!

Usually, I'm writing to share advice or I'm reflecting on things that happen in the world, my community or in my family. Today, I'm screaming for help! I'm being forced to co-sleep and don't know what to do.


Our so-to-be three year old never had a problem sleeping. He has always been a willing nap-taker and went to bed around the same time every night with a story and a gentle tuck in. Within the last six months things have changed.


He tries to 'hang with the big boys' fighting bedtime until we are at the point of forcing him into his room. He wakes up anywhere between midnight and 3 a.m. (hence the reason I'm up at 4:18 a.m. blogging) banging on his door, kicking and screaming and yelling for mommy and daddy. In the past, I've tried the ‘stare-down’ method of coaxing him back to sleep. This is when I stand in the doorway with arms crossed and I stare at him. He will usually play peak-a-boo with the covers, leading me to laugh at his cute antics after which time I compose myself and resume my angry stare. Eventually, he'll get tired of playing and trying to out-stare me and fall off to sleep.                                  

My husband has tried the 'angry walk down the hall' method, in which he storms down the hallway yelling to the top of his lungs "Josh...Go to bed, you don't want me to come in there!". Most of the time this works and Josh will cry himself back to sleep.


Here lately, for the sake of others sleeping in the house, we've resolved to leave his door cracked so that when he does wake up in the middle of the night he can come into our room and climb in the bed with us.  However, this is definitely a problem. Last night he 'cover-bullied' his 6'7 father and demanded that he move over and stop snatching the covers. He also spends about 10 minutes getting comfortable, going back and forth between my husband’s arms and mine, playing with our ears and whispering. 


I am tired of waking up with feet in my face, drool on my pillow and the vapors from his hot little body sucking up the cool air in our room. Tonight, I tried a different tactic (which isn't going to last either) co-sleeping with him. After a few bouts of screaming he made his way down the hall and got into our bed. I laid there and watched as he fell back to sleep, at which time I picked him up and returned him to his own bed. As soon as his little head touched the pillow he began to scream "No mommy no!" I went back to my room and got a blanket and pillow and return to Josh's room to sleep on the floor.


I want to break his disruptive sleep habits during the summer so that we can have smooth sailing when our house shuts down at 9:00 p.m. during the school years.


If you've got some answers in box me! In the meantime, I'm off to Wal-Mart to buy ear plugs and a new lock for my bedroom door!