Tears of Joy

Yesterday we registered Tyler for Kindergarten.  As we walked into the registration area there were five sections and Tyler bounced from station to stations as an eager ‘soon to be’ Kindergartner would.  As I approached station one, I got a knot in my throat and my eyes began to tear up.  I said to myself “self, get it together, it’s only registration…in six months you’ll be the fool running behind the school bus crying on her first day.” 

I made it through the registration process, but I took a few minutes to reflect on what the next few months mean for our family as Tyler embarks on this new journey.  We’ve done our best to instill strong values in all of our children, a sense of respect for self and others and we take the time every day to stress the importance of education.  While I know in my heart that we’ve prepared her academically, I shudder to think about how she will manage some of the social challenges that I struggled to navigate as a student.

What will I do when she comes home crying after having her pig tails pulled or after being teased by the big kid in class?  How do I encourage her after she fails to get a desired part in a play or how do I show her how to use conflict management skills after her first playground tiff?  As a mom, I have to admit that I never really thought about the challenges of school beyond the homework until now. 

Again, I had another little moment with myself and I said “self, remember that you had wonderful guides throughout your elementary years…your mom and dad.”   At that moment of revelations, I was able to take a sigh of relief.  That’s exactly how I managed to overcome obstacles and be successful throughout my grammar school and high school years.  My journey wasn’t easy, by any means, but as I look back I can recall moments of encouragement, tough love and praise from both of my parents.  What was also a blessing is that my parents had different gifts in terms of how they raised and mentored us.  My mother was always good and kissing both physical and emotional wounds and my dad (although very stern) keep me inspired academically and always encouraged me to think outside of the box, long before the phrase was coined.

So, as a new chapter begins to unfold in my life and in Tyler’s, I won’t have to reinvent the wheel in terms of doing my part to ensure that our daughter embraces a holistic educational experience.  I will reflect on my own past and sharpen the tools inherited from my parents to make sure Tyler’s educational journey is a success.

PS: I’m going to not to make a fool of myself when she actually starts school, but check back on August 29^th to see how her first day really goes!

Black Love…Black Power

February is a special month…Black History, President’s Day and Valentine’s Day.  I thought about revisiting the issues of why Black History is celebrated during the shortest month of the year, but I’ve moved passed the assumption that the oppressor has only given us twenty eight days to celebrate our rich history and understand that I have an obligation as an African American to make each day of the year one in which I reflect on our storied history and education my children about their ancestors.  In the words of Carter G. Woodson, I have not allowed one to control my mind and in turn control my actions, thus this would not make for a good blog/commentary.

So I thought about President’s day and how I could tie that into my role as a mother and I reflected on leaders from Lincoln to Kennedy, to Clinton to our first African American, Obama who is now struggling with unrest on the political front as well as unrest worlds away.  

Then I looked at the most commercialized celebration of the month, Valentine’s Day.  I’m over getting last-minute, marked-down gifts, flowers sent to work and trying to squeeze in a romantic dinner while sequestering the kids in the basement with video games.

What then is there to be said about this month…as a mother?  That is what my blog is about, right?  Well, it came to me; black love and black power. That was the common thread as I looked at the calendar on the wall, which reminded me of the month long commitment to reading for my daughter’s school, the many doctor’s appointments, science fair and invention projects due, the workshop and commitment to church activities, working to meet a publication deadline and of course, carving out time for what is most important –the children and family in my life.

As a black woman and mother, I hope to have the spirit of Rosa Parks and Fannie Lou Hamer, the power to lead and commitment to my civic duty like Maxine Waters and Carol Mosley Braun, and the strength and fortitude to walk a different path like Mae Jemison and Leontyne Price.  I want to have the courage to teach, the vision to empower when others don’t see a way, the faith to love unconditionally and the child-like freedom to continue to fantasize and dream the impossible dream.

Those African American’s who have shaped our history, some giving life or limb, may not have recognized their power as the very moment when they were fighting for equality, civil rights, or peace, but they had the love in their hearts for themselves, this country and others to march on.  So to you I say thank you.  Thank you for showing me how to be a mother, activist, educator and spiritual force from within.

Celebrate this country, black history, black love and black power.