I am blessed to have the opportunity to be the reigning Mrs. First State (Mrs. United States Pageant System http://www.mppinc2006.com/.) The Mrs. United States Pageant which is held annually in Las Vegas is now celebrating its 25th anniversary. The Mrs. United States Pageant system is no ordinary beauty pageant - it is extraordinary - and is committed to recognizing married woman for their ability to integrate intellect and beauty.
Even before I entered the Mrs. Pageant arena, I was committed to focusing my energies on being a positive role model for my children and a supportive wife. In today’s media and technology saturated environment, far too often images of mothers, wives and families are distorted. Dysfunctional families are celebrated on evening sitcoms, songs have been written about single mothers and Hollywood starlets down play the challenges of raising children with an au pair instead of a husband and father.
While my family has not yet met with perfection (and I’m certain that it never will), one thing that I am certain of is that my lineage is one in which family comes first. My husband and I aren’t sticklers for observing the traditional roles in the home and find value in doing things that we consider to be our talent or area of expertise. To this end, you may find my husband doing laundry, helping with homework, or trying to put barrettes on the ends of our daughter’s braids and I may be in the garden weeding or cleaning the garage. Our home is one in which fun, respect and observance of rules in the order of the day. We encourage our children to problem-solve on their own (this is often accompanied with a gentle warning that if they don’t manage the situation on their own, we’ll have to and they probably won’t like our decision) and we make it a point to let our children know that they are the priority.
As a wife, I try to do things that show my children the love and admiration I have for their father. This is an effortless task as my husband makes it easy to love him. I think it’s important for parents to model what a loving home should be like as our children will grow up to be parents and spouses. The images that our children see of families in turmoil - - in society, on television and on the Internet - - are a far cry from what I want my children to embrace. As a part of a blended family, we are not without our issues, but with much work and prayer and focus on self instead of those individual who we think are the source of friction, the world of step parenting has moved from moments of frustration and disappointment to one of joy and mutual respect.
As our children get older, we also see the growing importance of carving out quality time for each of them. We recognize the unique personalities of our children and know that while some of their needs may overlap, that they deserve special attention and care from us on an individual level.
Lastly, I put myself (mental, spiritual and physical health) first. My life experiences have taught me that if you are not taking care of yourself in a holistic manner, you are in no position to offer a level of support and quality care for others. I find time to be alone, I ask for help when I need it instead of assuming that I have this super woman alter ego that can do it all, I surround myself with loving family, great friends who don’t tell me what I want to hear but give me constructive criticism and sound advice and I seek guidance and support from my church family.
Today’s families are faced with a multitude of challenges. Strong families systems provide the necessary support for families to successfully navigate those challenges. Now more than ever it is important to build and sustain strong families and raise children that will carry family values and a sense of community with them into adulthood. As I parent, I remember one thing that my dad used to tell me. The dysfunction, attitudes, beliefs and work ethic we have at home are the same that we carry with us into the world and into our work environments. The relationships and values we cultivate in the home are indicative of the society in which we live today; a society filled with dishonesty, disrespect and an individualist mindset. As mothers and wives, it is our responsibility to do our part to instill family values and a kindness and concern for the world around us each and every day in our children. We need to exemplify what it means to be a loving and civic minded individual so that our children have the amour they need to face the challenges of a world that has distorted the image of what family truly is.
I don’t have all the answers, my choices may not always be right, but I am committed to putting family first. Share my commitment to your family.
