For the last two years or so, Micah has
been more than a bread-winner and head of household; he's assumed the role of a
stay-at-home dad. As a result of a work injury during the blizzard of January
2009 which unfortunately lead to his early retirement as a firefighter/EMT,
Micah found himself at home doing both mommy and daddy duty as I navigated
semester teaching overloads, my quest for tenure and other work obligations.
Oddly enough, the injury came at the
perfect time, if that can be said, because shortly after that, he gained full
custody of #2 (affectionately called that because of birth order) and it would
have been almost impossible for me to manage the entire household, work and
school schedules while he was on his shifts at the fire department two states
away.
So today, like many moms, Micah had a
moment! However, I realized that he handled it differently than most mothers
would have. Instead of Micah strapping that superman cape on tighter, hoisting
the screaming toddler up on his hip and using the free hand and feet to
continue unloading the car, cleaning and trying to watch the other children as
they played in the cul-de-sac; he asked for help! He said and I quote
"When are you going to be finished what you're doing?! I've been with the
kids, it seems 24/7 and I need a break right now."
At that moment, I stopped what I was doing
and took over. In all honesty, Micah was right. Now that the roles have
reversed, he is home with the children more and he does a wonderful job at
wearing my hat and his as a father, but I have to admit that I've taken it for
granted. Coming home from work with children fed and bathed, homework done and
laundry folded and put away has been a blessing. I even find myself going right
to the office to pick up where left off on campus because everything that needs
to be done in the home is complete.
Fortunately, our role reversal is not a
direct result of economic hardships that many families are facing but it goes
without saying that dads are taking over at home and it's a good thing,
especially as far as our children are concerned. I know for a fact that our own
children are reaping the benefits of having their dad at home more. There is
strength in their relationships that I know I didn't have as a kid growing up because
my father worked so much. There is a level of respect that Micah has because
our children actually see him at work every day in our home and because he runs
such a tight ship, there are very few disciplinary issues to contend with.
Micah does work in the school system as a
special education substitute and has been strongly considering returning to
school to earn his PhD. Micah has been amazing through this transition. Definitely
not perfect, but he has brought so much balance, security and peace to our home
by graciously accepting the situation and making the most of it for all of us.
I think that he has proven that the sky is the limit regardless of what your
situation may be.
So tonight Micah, (even though you don't
read my blog...shame on you) I send much love your way and want you to know
that I am so thankful for all that you do and will continue to do for our
family.
For my readers, I leave you with this. Whether
you're a SAHM or a working mom, when you need help...follow Micah's lead and
ask for help. Don't beat around the bush either. Be direct and let your husband
or partner know that it's time for you to tap out so that when you tap back in
you can give it your all.
Until next time.
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