Is it Discrimination, Profiling or just Policy?

A few weeks ago a neighbor and I went to our clubhouse restaurant to address an issue related to the service our children and their friends at the establishment.  Our sons called us and told us that management refused to serve them as they had implemented a new rule to NOT serve patrons under 16 years of age.  Apparently some of the younger patrons had been guilty of displaying inappropriate behavior, being rude to staff, not tipping and fighting outside of the establishment.  The new rule is that residents under the age of 16 can order food to go but can't sit down and be served in the restaurant without an adult.  I totally understand that independent establishments can have their own rules (no cell phones, no children at certain hours, etc.) however this situation is different.  We pay fees to 'belong' to the clubhouse.  If you know me, then you know that this enraged me! I pay my fees and my family belongs to this clubhouse and has all the rights and privileges that a paying resident is entitled to.

When I spoke to management (which by the way are young enough to be my children) I told them that they may as well have told my children to go to the back door and order their food then wait on the stoop to be served...circa segregation!!!

I made it clear to this young staff that OUR children are not the individuals who caused the problems  and that profiling the youth in this community can lead to some serious problems.  We also took this moment to give our boys a dose of reality...black children/men will be judged.  It's a fact.  However, you need to make sure that you carry yourself in a way in which people see who you truly are and not stereotype or judge you based on their experiences with a few select African American people.

I'm going to have to revisit this issues because our boys went back to the clubhouse today and while they were able to order their food to go, they were asked to wait outside.  This is not the 60s! And while I'm a realist, I don't want my kids to have to suffer discrimination or profiling  just to get a cookie and an order of fries! 

It's a sad commentary that my husband and I chose to move into a safe community where there are great schools, a great sense of family and we have to deal with issue such as this. I will continue to raise this issue with management until things change and I will continue to send my children to the restaurant so that they learn how to deal with issues of this nature on their own and stand up for themselves.

Note:  I chose not to name the establishment as to extend a level of respect to them that they aren't extending to our children, but if you know where we live then you know the clubhouse that I'm talking about!

Back to School Blues

Enjoy this first installment of my video blog.  While I will continue to write, I want to work on my editing and production skills so I'll be posting videos from time to time.

 

 

 



And what did you say the purpose of summer reading was?

I reminded myself that I hadn't written a blog entry in a while and I drew a blank on what to write...until the mail carrier came! She was loaded down with summer reading books that had been ordered for Tyler, Madison and yep, me.

My connection to summer reading has grown tremendously over the past two years, as I am the chair of the One Book, One Campus committee at Delaware State University.  I'm going to be honest, I did not read the first book chosen by the committee at DSU as I was reading the book assigned to the 6th grade class at Meredith Middle School. Why you may ask? Because we found that the summer reading assignments weren't being done correctly! So in order to ensure that the book was being read and all work was being completed correctly I made the decision to read "Dead End in Norvelt" by Jack Gantos...turns out it's a good book.  I initially went to the internet to search for cliff notes but nothing works better than taking time to read and make sense of the text yourself.

Fast forward to this afternoon. After reading a summary assignment for this years book that has been assigned to Madison's class I found that once again there was a lack of comprehension.  I immediately went to the internet but what I found this time was eye-opening. Madison is reading "Wonder" by R. J. Palacio. In my search for cliff notes I found several instructor guides or curriculums for this book. Some extremely detailed with chapter or section foci designed to engage students in a variety of ELA exercises ranging from comprehension, to vocabulary to character analysis. What stood out most was the fact that a lot of these resources were designed to provide students with an insightful journey through the eyes of a young boy who's a bit different. These are things that I noticed were missing from the exercises associated with Madison's summer reading from his school.

I asked myself at that point, are the teachers engaging in summer reading because it's the thing to do? A state requirement? And what is the significance of writing 10 chapter summaries and not challenging students to be more introspective as they reads books that touch on such real-life issues such as bullying, medical conditions and self-esteem.

It's important for me as an educator to make sure some time is committed to learning during the summer months but with a purpose. For the last two years it's  been difficult for me to incorporate summer reading for the freshman in my entry level classes but this experience has challenged me to make reading the book "Buck" by M. K. Asante, meaningful for my college students.

According to the New York Public Library System, the purpose of summer reading is to improve literacy and to make sure that students have the skills necessary to meet the common core standards.  

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan described summer learning loss as “devastating.”  This is what researchers have often referred to as the “summer slide.”  It is estimated that school summer breaks will cause the average student to lose up to one month of instruction, with disadvantaged students being disproportionately affected (1).

To this end, educators have a responsibility to make summer reading (summer learning as a whole) more impactful.  Studies show that successful reading programs allow for the development of reading skills necessary for academic success. Young readers who have a reading experience in which they connect and engage independently, apply critical thought to characters and story lines learn to apply those skills in other academic areas.

Ideally, the experience shared by students should be one that connects students with each other once they return to school around one reader as well as sets the academic tone for the year. While critiques point out the down side of summer reading: the stigma attached to required work; if done correctly a greater sense of community is developed and students continue to hone one of the most important  and pragmatic skills that one must possess.

We know that more reading makes better readers but it's not the quantity of books that are read...it's the quality of the reading that matters. Make summer reading count.



(1) http://www.nysl.nysed.gov/libdev/summer/research.htm

Before You Call Someone a Racists You May Need to Look in the Mirror

Yet another NBA owner sticks his foot in his mouth. I'm not trying to get into a negative online thread, but I do have some thoughts as a former journalist and a black woman.  Here it goes.

The first headline (caption) that I saw regarding this story was "Cuban Admits That he's a Bigot".  Way to go writer for getting me and probably millions of others to read the full story.  With my journalism cap on I have to say, that's what you're supposed to do; write in a way that will appeal to your readers; but at what cost to the subject of your piece.  Yes, Cuban gave journalist the fodder for this news story but when I read the article (and here's where I put on my cap as a black woman) I can understand the point he was trying to get across [even though I truly could have done without the hoodie reference-post Trayvon Martin...it still hurts people]. 

Here's MY TRUTH...(yes, in all caps because I don't want anyone out there to think that I'm dictating how you should feel, perceive things, etc. in this not so post-racial society).  Have I grabbed my purse tighter?  Have I pulled away from a gas station or convenience store?  Yes.  Why?  Because of my perception of the people that may be occupying that space at a given time.  Real talk; because of the black or white people that make me feel uncomfortable.  Does that make me a racists?  In my heart I grapple with this all the time but my reality is that in the last three years, I've been called a dumb nigger and a black bitch (by white women).  On the occasion in which I was called the "n" word,  I got into a verbal sparring match with the individual, letting her know that if the right  "n" word was in that store that she would have been picking herself up off the ground after having the crap smacked out of her.  Not so welcoming, huh? On another occasion, I pulled into a gas station in which a truck adorn with a confederate flag, full of young men (black and white), pumping hip hop music where loud talking (as my mom would say) and freely using the "N" word. It's worth noting that the gentlemen I encountered at the gas station looked like the examples that Mark Cuban referenced in his commentary. At that moment, I made the decision not to get out of my car and further subject myself to their banter which to me was very aggressive. 

Is this every going to go away?  If you're a parent, regardless of race, color or creed, you pray that it will.  You pray for a world in which we don't have to grapple with your own prejudices.  You pray that people who themselves were born to parents with staunch views about race, gender and sexuality, etc. can someday change their view.

Am I angered by what's happened in the NBA over the past month.  Definitely. But  before I go and call someone else out I take ownership of the fact that I still have work to do on me.  Maybe that's where it starts.

Thank you for letting me be serious, in my often humorous and world of Mahogany Mom.



http://www.aol.com/article/2014/05/22/mavericks-owner-mark-cuban-under-fire-for-comments-touching-on-r/20890853/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmaing11%7Cdl10%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D479545

With or Without: Fearless Beyond My Make Up

This week, the Today Show brought back the the body image series, “Love Your Selfie, Reclaiming Beauty". In the past, I have been impressed by those willing to share true feelings about their own beauty. Even the courageous of the Today Show anchors who bare all (emotionally) has had a huge impact on me. Placing yourself in a position of vulnerability without make up or stripped down to the bare minimum to show the world that although you are not perfect the depth of love for yourself far outweighs any standard of beauty that society has set before us.

Everyday I get up and I look in the mirror and I say to self..."girl today will be your no make up Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday!" You get the picture! But I can never bring myself to that point. Maybe it's because I don't have the courage to. Maybe I hate the fact that I've waxed my brows so much that they'll never grow back (MAC Chestnut pencil is my best friend) or maybe it's because I'm afraid that someone will mistake me for Frank instead of Fran if I were to go without make up.

The truth is that I've grown to understand that my make up and the way I like to "beat my face" is just a small part of who I am. Sure, there was a time when my make up was there purely to hide my insecurities and my lack of self love. I've had times in my life where the self esteem bucked was completely empty but after years of searching, some therapy and personal development I've gotten to the point where I'm truly happy with who I am.

As a mom it's even more important for me that my love for self resonates in all that I do. Not in a cocky sort of way but in a manner that conveys to others (especially my daughter) that love encompasses how I communicate with others, the level of empathy that my heart holds for those around me, my desire to help those in need and my willingness to openly brace differences.

While I may never have a no make up kind of day I do believe that it's important to take a good look at yourself. Even if its a mental strip down take time to be introspective, embrace the flaws and look at the hills and valleys in life which are perfectly designed by God to encourage our spiritual growth and strengthen our faith.

 

It's Not the New Black

As always, when I decided to place my hands on the keys and voice my opinion on a controversial topic, I take a great deal of time to research, think, and engage in thought provoking conversations to gain as much insight as possible before I leave a forever imprint in the form of a blog post.

It’s been almost three weeks since I saw a ‘Gay is the New Black’ post on social media (accompanied by a posting of what I deem to be a very derogatory a t-shirt which I care not to repost), but after scouring the internet, I realized that this topic has been a part of mainstream discourse for some time. While I’m sure comparisons were made long before 2008 when a popular magazine, The Advocate posed the question in a December 16^th article, this issues has resurfaced and reignited this discussion. The Advocate (December 16, 2008 issue) discussed the passage of Proposition 8 in California and the then protests that ensued around the country as a result.  At the time, many equated the struggle for  equality between gays’ and African Americans’ to be parallel.  

The discussion of discrimination because of one’s sexual orientation compared to discrimination because of the color of one’s skin has outraged many. The Obama presidency (first term) placed the gay rights movement front and center, with some thinking that the gay rights movement had not experienced the same amount of progress as the civil rights movement; calling the plight of gay Americans a Modern-day civil rights struggle.  Activists likened their experiences to what blacks championed during the civil rights movement and apply similar concepts to their current fight.  While there is enormous respect for that period in time by those who advocate for equality for the gay community, the sting from making stark comparisons is still distressing. 

I was moved to reflect on a Facebook post that stated that this fodder was nothing more than another way to divide us as people and to further highlight issues of disparity in this country.  Aside from legalities, religious commentary and a review of history, this rang deep for me. 

My belief is that we live in a world where there will always been judgment and consistent challenges in terms of equality and fairness. For generations, we’ve been condition to believe certain things and pass these beliefs on to our children and their children; me being no exception.  That’s why I feel the way I do.  I grew up being told that the color of my skins, aptitude which should determine my altitude and my gender could make or break me.  My parent’s mantra was that you always have to work twice has hard as whites and that there will always be blacks who excel and some that don’t based on things like education, access, etc. hence, my father’s embracing of the teachings of his favorite scholar, W.E.B. Dubois.  In my father’s eyes, education was the key to everything and he marched on Washington and supported civil rights causes in the Metropolitan area because he believed it was his duty as a black man to do so. I grew up being beaten over the head (figuratively) with stories about the struggle of blacks both past and present and my role as a soon-to-be educated black person. Fast forward to now.  What would my father’s mantra be, knowing that his granddaughter carries with her the weight of being female, black and gay in today’s America?  What would he say to my sister-in-law or my step sister who wears the same badge?  What would he say to my students who struggle with their sexual identity and blackness every day?    Would he be able to put an educational spin on this issue?  What would he say about the comparisons between the black civil right movement and the gay rights movement of today?  I know for a fact my father would probably have a coronary.  To him, there was no greater struggle in the 20^th century than that which was experienced during the civil rights era and my father was an advocate for black people so it probably goes without saying that he wouldn’t even try to begin to understand the mindset of a gay person.  It’s a sad commentary on my father, but lovingly, I can understand it because he was born in 1929 and grew up in a different time.

My father’s perspective on education, however, does carry with it a great deal of latitude.  I believe that in all that we do there is an element of education, but when it comes to issues like our civil rights, human indignity and discrimination our emotional tool box is no longer protected and we become vulnerable to years of self-hate, religious-line crossing and misinterpretation of everything from choices, to scientific facts to the law, the bible and perception…the list goes on.

However, I can’t help but think that during the civil rights movement, Bayard Rustin (young readers PLEASE GOOGLE…take this moment to further education yourself) held the hope that the civil rights movement of the 60s would also helped to bring about the same sense of equality for openly gay people during that time.  I’m sure he was verklempt at the notion of being viewed as a liability by some in Dr. King’s camp even though he was one of the key organizers of the March on Washington. I’m sure that Mr. Rustin longed for the day that there would be no prejudiced of another kind against him and that he could someday live as Dr. King desired…in a world where each person was sacred, free and equal to all others.

By the title of this blog, you can glean that I don’t agree with this statement that has been adorn on everything from t-shirts to protests signs.  In my heart, gay is not the new black because the struggle of black Americans in this country is rooted in oppression and still exists.  In some pockets of this country, people are probably still living like it was 1960.   What I’m going to say next may ruffle some feathers, but black is black…I can’t hide my blackness or do anything to thwart judgment of those who don’t like me because of the color of my skin, it is who I am. As Francine Edwards I cannot and will never be able to hide the fact that I am black!  On the other side of this issue stands a group of people who may have the option of keeping their sexual preference to themselves or a making it the sacred trust of close confidants; thus limiting occasions when they can be judged by others. Voddie Bauchman speaks about this same issue in a 2012 post under the article subheading Unidentifiable Minority:  http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/07/19/gay-is-not-the-new-black/

  

The struggle for gay Americans is real. The right to live with a same-sex partner, marry, be afforded the same benefits and health care, etc. is important and shouldn’t be disregarded by any of us.  However, likening this struggle to a movement that was designed to provide equal access and basic privileges and rights of U.S. citizens to a race of people who were being oppressed as a result of segregation laws, and legislation that further divided this race educationally and economically is a historical beast of a different sort. While I believe gay Americans have faced oppression it is not the same sort of oppression that inhibited black people in the 60s, thus I stand by my point that the comparison should not be made.

This may be trite, but last year, I was called the N word in a store.  Now the lady who did that saw my color but knew nothing about me in terms of psychographics.  If I were hand in hand with a woman and the same situation occurred in which I bumped into her, would she have used a gay slur to reference me? (I can imagine that the slur would have been an outward expression for the hate of both blacks and gays). One will never know, but I share that to say how the journey for black Americans and gay Americans can be different on so many levels.

Whenever there is a fight for equality, you have to reach back and look at how champions in the past did indeed champion that cause.  Some believe the civil rights movement laid the foundation for other ‘rights’ related endeavors like the  modern women’s movement and the student movement and that tools of petitioning, nonvio

lent protests and legal advocacy are still in place and serve to right to wrong of those impacted.

In an effort to bring about change, divisive tactics or catchy buzz phrases like gay is the new black should not be a part of the action plan.  This further divides people and takes energy away from the real cause.  The conversation about the challenges that gay Americans face needs to be elevated and yes, the conversations about addressing the rights and inequality that permeate many of the black communities must continue as well.  I believe that the reason so many black people wince at this comparison is that some people lack perspective and understanding of the civil rights movement that impacted this nation.

For me the image to the right says a lot.  What the warriors of the past went through to have those signs taken down was powerful.  It was for some a journey to hell and back…for others it was death.  The gay rights movement is daunting; I’m sure…but to this degree?  You decide.    

You have your struggles…I have mine.  What makes us better people is being able to conquer these struggles not only for the good of ourselves but for the benefit of others.  No matter which side of the argument you’re on a point free from contention is that we still have more work to do.

“We are all people…people do not throw their geniuses away. And if they are thrown away, it is our duty as artists and as witnesses for the future to collect them again for the sake of our children and, if necessary, bone by bone.”

Alice Walker in her essay, Zora Neale Hurston: A Cautionary Tale and a Partisan View

The Olympic Spirit and the Forgotten Dads

I'm watching the Today Show and I see a promo for a special Proctor and Gamble program focusing on how mothers raise Olympians.  Touchy-feely images of moms in the crowd supporting their children, picking up skaters as they fall, hoisting gold medals...you know, the typical tear-jerking images.  Americana and competitive sports at its best.  I hear the commentator say "mother's don't get the recognition they deserve..." to that I stand there with a blank face.  "Really." I say aloud as I look across the room to my husband who's applying lotion on the ashy legs of our four year old.

Now that's someone who doesn't get the recognition he deserves...my husband, along with thousands of other husbands and dads who sacrifice everything not just for Olympic dreams but for all the dreams their children have; no matter how big or how small.

This isn't the first time that Proctor and Gamble has paid homage to moms.  It was done at the summer Olympics.  Why wasn't I as reflective about this during the summer? I'm not sure.  Maybe it's because there's more hype, celebrity and a stronger following during the summer Olympics forcing the human-interest stories of this nature to take a back seat but the fact remains that once again, dads seem to be forgotten.

As someone who pursued a kinda-sorta Olympic dream (I was a competitive gymnast from grade six until my freshman year of college) I remember my father being in the trenches in a different way.  Sure my mom drove me to Beltsville, Maryland to the Prince George's Gymnastics Club three times a week and on weekends.  She either sat in the car or on the hard bleachers and watched as I tumbled, fumbled, fractured and once competed with a concussion. She wasn't there to wipe my tears or baby me, she was tougher than the coaches at times, but none of it would have been possible without my father, who paid the gym tuition. Even in the 80s and 90s I remember my parents talking about the nearly $1,000.00  a month that went towards my budding gymnastics career.  My dad didn't always go to the meets but when he did, you could tell that he was the proudest father there.  I'll never forget the first time I scored a perfect 10 in vault.  It was dad and his brother who cheered the loudest.

My dad was a quiet man (with a wonderfully quick and sarcastic sense of humor, to which I say THANK YOU) but he always found time to tell me how proud he was of me.  Now it may not have been in a traditional form  "I'm so proud of you Franny," but he say things like "I saw you out there...how'd you learn to do that?" or he'd say "I see all that practice is paying off."  I knew what it meant.

Just because some of them don't cry when you win or lose, they're not the ones kissing dirty boo boos or putting band aids on a Red Power Ranger toy (which I did last week) doesn't mean that dads aren't on "TEAM ALL ABOUT MY KIDS".  They are.  I think it's so easy to focus on mothers, because matriarchy is often associated with a hands-on form of nurturing and support.  In recent years, there has been a cultural shift in which men are taking on more non-traditional roles in the home and are not necessarily showing us a 'new' type of dad, but are  probably doing what they are innately able to do...love, nurture and care for their children.

I'm sure there will be tons of dads in Sochi and I'm hoping they they get a moment to shine.