A Mark in History

As Dr. Louden began his commencement address at the first winter graduation ceremony on the campus of Delaware State University we were all reminded of the fact that the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut makes moments like this more precious and important than ever. He said that those children will never see this day. They will never see a school dance, a prom or a wedding. He talked about the fact that we live in a world of crisis and that the longer we live the greater chance we have for our hearts to be hardened by some of the cruelties of this world but he also noted that we should be inspired to keep going, keep hoping, keep working to improve the quality of life for all Gods children.  We live in a troubling time but because of faith, we are given opportunities to test that faith and perserve.

As I looked around Memorial Hall I saw faced of proud students, parents, family and friends but I couldn't help think about the events of the previous day. My hope is that this moment truly sinks in for each of the candidates and that they realize the true measure of  their worth before its too late. None if us know what is waiting around the corner or down the road. We don't know what challenges lie ahead but we do know that we must seize every precious moment and make the best each opportunity before us.

We live in a world where pain and anguish cripple the soul. As we move forward in the coming days protect that very soul.  Be prayerful, be humble, be tenacious and be grateful for the life He has to offer.

God Bless.

Is Thanksgiving Going Away

I cooked the turkey, mashed the potatoes, dressed the dressing, merged every table in the house to make one long beautiful setting for the feast and shared my day with family and friends, and when it was all over, hubby and I (like millions of others) took to the streets in search of hot items on what's now called 'Gray Thursday'.

I don't know who coined the term, but maybe it's gray for a reason. Gray is the color of sorrow but in some cultures it symbolizes responsibility and conservative practicality. Whichever meaning you choose it could be applicable to this blog.

After returning from a victorious Gray Thursday/Black Friday spree I watched the news the next morning and kind of got a kick out of looking at live shots of people still in the hustle and bustle of it all. I even gave Micah a high five, because as usual, the hot items that we wanted to get seemed only to be hot to us (there was no mad dash to buy the things that were on our list so we were in and out of our two friendly retailers within minutes). However, what made my victory dance turn into a moment of bewilderment was the fact that I heard one financial analysts say that the success of Gray Thursday may mean the end of Thanksgiving as we know it.

Is that possible? Could a holiday be obliterated because of a three pot crock pot, a pre-paid cell phone or cheap bath towels? Have we come to the point in our lives where all we can think about at this time of the year are bargains? Maybe. For some of us (and one shopper said it best during his interview) "We have to save a few pennies" but for others it's the sheer enjoyment of the madness and a time to stock up for self. NBC 10's anchor Tim Furlong interviewed a few young ladies who had bags of loot from a famous lingerie store and when he asked if they had gotten gift bargains, they all said "No! We got stuff for ourselves!"

I admit I got caught up in the frenzy, even though our holiday shopping was completed in October but to do away with Thanksgiving? Not hardly. Even I need a reminder of what Thanksgiving really means.

Come with me for a moment while I put on my teacher hat. If we interpret the meaning of the word thanksgiving based on its cultural definition we tend to embrace the dictionary definition and apply it to the holiday. Merriam Webster defines thanksgiving as the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favor. If we look at the Biblical meaning of the word it is revealed that thanksgiving is not an extemporaneous or spontaneous expression of thanks for a good deed, but it has to do with our spiritual attitude toward life. It has nothing to do with outward expressions but an introspective look at ourselves. In other words we live a life of thanksgiving and it becomes a daily expression of His life. From a spiritual perspective (and not everyone is a believer but follow me), I believe that God wants us to be thankful in all things and to rejoice in both the pain and sorrow of our life. Thanksgiving isn't a question of whether we are going to give thanks or not, but a question of what spirit we will allow to rule us (Netbiblestudy.com, 2012).

Now maybe that's a bit much and I'm stealing your holiday shopping joy, but I think you can agree with me and Netbiblestudy.com. Think back to October, July, March and even February of this year? How many times did you give thanks? How many times we you reminded of how blessed you were? Was there a turkey on the table? Were you camped out in a parking lot waiting for doors to open at your favorite retailer? Probably not. So in actuality, we've probably all live a spiritually thankful life but for some reason, that balance is taken away because of the official start to the holiday shopping season.

The major retailers probably won't read this blog from a mom in Delaware and change their marketing habits for the 2013 holiday season, but we can all be more introspective and give ourselves that little pinch before we get swept away in the hoopla that will probably continue to begin on Thanksgiving Thursday at 8:00 p.m. when those doors open to priceless bargains.

 

Have a wonderful holiday season!!!

 

100%

Is being Black and Articulate an Anomaly?

I listened to a short interview with actor Keith Powell (cast member on NBC’s “30 Rock”) and was immediately able to connect with some of what he had to say, especially his comments about sounding ‘black enough’.  I can recall the first time that it was brought to my attention that I was articulate.  I actually went to interview for a job and when I arrived I was greeted with “Wow! I thought you were white!  You were so articulate over the phone.”  At the time, I was young and didn’t take offense to it.  In fact, I took pride in the statement and relished in the fact that I had worked so hard not necessarily to ‘sound white’ but to sound professional as a new entrant into the job market.

Oddly enough, prior to that, the issue of being black, smart, and articulate wasn’t one.  I wasn’t called a sell out or told that I sounded/acted white because I was grouped in with the smart kids.  Again; no real problem for me because I was smart.  I got good grades and took school seriously.  It wasn’t until I got to college that people (probably the group of students in search of their black identity at a traditionally white school) questioned the commitment to the black race by those who didn’t necessarily associate with all of the cultural norms of the black community; including embracing what was called Ebonics.

As I ventured into the academic environment, I began to study something called code-switching, which I believe many African Americans whose lives are intrinsically woven between their cultural roots and a rich and demanding professional life become experts in.  Code-switching is defined as the practice of selecting or altering linguistic elements so as to contextualize talk in interaction. This contextualization may relate to local discourse practices, such as turn selection or various forms of bracketing, or it may make relevant information beyond the current exchange, including knowledge of society and diverse identities.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid took heat for making the statement (2010) that President Obama lacked ‘negro dialect’ and the comment shined light on the practice of code-switching, when one alters his or her communication style to closer identify with the audience or setting he/she is in at a given moment.  While some were shocked at the comment and thought it to be racists, for many African Americans, such choices about how to talk and present yourself are normal. 

Somewhere between high school and college and the first job interview many of us find that sounding proper, educated, and capable is a necessity…not sounding white.  It doesn’t mean that you’ve surrendered your “black card” or (any other race card for that matter) it just means that you’ve been blessed with the understanding that the way you joke around, fraternize and talk with your peers may not be appropriate for the boardroom or any other professional environment.  The downside is that unfortunately if you employ dialect or vernacular associated with urban culture there is also the assumption that you are uneducated, incapable, and more ignorant than most. 

Historically African Americans have lived in two worlds and have learned to navigate them, simply by code-switching.  Some may even view the ability to shift linguistic styles as a survival skill that blacks use to counter stereotypes and discrimination in a historically dominated white male society.

As an educator, I am an advocate from presenting your best professional self.  I want students to do this through every form of communication in which they engage.  Whether it is a simple Tweet, Facebook post, a question asked or answered in class or a simple conversation during office hours.  Get into the practice of using correct English and grammar.  Learn how to carry on a conversation with substance and style and know when to deploy tactics such as code-switching. Like Powell said in his interview, it’s time that we move forward and change the dialogue about how we actually dialogue.

 

See the complete interview at:

http://www.aol.com/video/youve-got-keith-powell/517533523/

Once Again Education Takes a Hit

This entry has a serious tone, but it’s important for me to share these thoughts.  As a parent and educator, I believe we have to fight even harder to protect our children’s right to a free and quality-filled education.  I hope you read on.

 

We recently received a letter from the Appoquinimink School District here in Delaware apprising parents of the fact that the school districts across Delaware had be faced with a growing number of state and federal funding cuts since 2008 and that while enrollment has increased 16.7%, the discretionary state funding per pupil has decreased by 10%.  Yesterday (October 22, 2012) I received an email from a colleague informing us of that fact that as a result of a decision to cut educational funding by more than 10 million dollars, programs like TRIO have been ‘defunded’ which means our esteemed McNair Scholars Program will no longer exist on the campus.

 

Blah, blah, blah!  So what does all of this really mean?  At the public school level, it means that our children may not have the resources they need to learn and those current operations and programs will soon be unmanageable because of financial constraints.  The excellence in education that we desire may be at risk.  This isn’t just a problem for the state of Delaware.  The financial security of our school systems is challenged everywhere.  Of course one solution to this problem is to increase taxes or address old referendums which did not require states to raise taxes.  Other states look to lotteries and gambling to provide supplemental funding for educational purposes, but until the federal government stops making education a top cutting block item we will always be faced with these challenges.

 

At the university level, the elimination of funding for programs like TRIO means that a wide range of services for student who need assistance will go away.   Programs like the Ronald E. McNair Postbaccalaureate Achievement Program (a grant program that was designed to prepare students for master’s level and doctoral studies through intensive research) will no longer be in place to help participants that are usually selected from a pool of candidates who come from disadvantaged backgrounds but have demonstrated strong academic potential.

Another strength of the McNair program is that it also provides additional activities like education or counseling services designed to improve financial and economic literacy of students; mentoring programs involving faculty members at institutions of higher education and exposure to cultural events and academic programs not usually available to disadvantaged students.

We can’t just blog about it…we have to be about it!  I’m going to the Referendum Information meeting in my school district.  I want to have a clear understanding of the issues and I want to be a part of the solution.  Like many of you, when we moved to Delaware one of the things we looked at besides location was the quality of the school districts we had to chose from.  I want to make sure that all of my children as well as my college students have access to the best education, faculty, mentors and opportunities possible. 

As Election Day hits the two week mark, I have to say that I don’t just want and economic-fixer upper in the White House.  I want a strong proponent of education at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the next four years.  How can you say that you want this country to produce its own engineers, scientists, mathematician, educators, doctors, lawyers, etc. when the funding doesn’t correlate?  The Commander in Chief has to stop cutting funding for education.  I’m sure that Sidwell Friends hasn’t seen a budget cut in years!  Why should my kids school!

 

 

 

Getting Down and Dirty at the Delaware Mud Run

Today's Mud Run was something that matters in both my personal and pageant life.  It was 14 years ago that my father lost his battle to Leukemia Every year I'm reminded about the work he did as a cancer researcher as well as how important it is to find cure for blood cancers.  Although I sat on the sidelines and laughed as the mudders ran, jumped and crawled through the mud with each moment I saw shirts in memoriam, heard stories about survivors and saw thousands of people that cared enough to give back and have a little fun while doing so.

I was there supporting the Atlantic Coast Pageant queens (past and present) in this year's run.  It's amazing to know that I, along with Team 'Dirt Divas' did our part to help the Leukemia Foundation of Delaware hit the $1,000,000 mark in fundraising.  Founder and president of the foundation, Denni Ferrara knows first-hand how important fundraising for this cause is; her daughter Natalia is a leukemia survivor. It' not often that you get to participate in an event in which 100% of the proceeds go to such a worth cause and their dedication and support from volunteer helps to enable research that will hopefully lead to more effective treatments for blood cancers.

Many thanks to our team sponsor, Scott and Sharon Ponsell for making this happen and for helping us to make a difference.

Who knows, I might take the plunge again and get down and dirty next year!

For more information visit:
http://www.lrfde.com/index.html

And to volunteer you time to eh Leukemia Research Foundation of Delaware contact them at:
203 Bohemia Mill Pond Drive
Middletown, DE 19709

Me holding a souvenir towel, "The Dirt Divas", The Atlantic Coast Beauties (2013)

Before & after the race!!!



Some candid Mud Run Shots

Governor Markell, Leukemia Survivors with Denni Ferrara and her daughter Natalia and the Phillie Phanatic, flag flying high during the National Anthem

 

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO SEE MOVIE:

 

2012 Delaware Mud Run

Leave the Olympians Alone...Hair, Finances and All!

Ok, let me begin by saying that yes, I've talked about weaves! I've even talk about my own weave and a few hours ago, because mine was looking busted, I took it out.   However, when it comes to kids…they’re off limits.


I’m glad that Gabby’s mother spoke up and defended her daughter after a popular fashion website berated the gold-medal trailblazer because of her hairstyle.  In the words of Gabby’s mom [to paraphrase] “What does her hair have to do with anything?  She’s broken several records and she’s worked tirelessly to represent her country and has done well?!”  Her mom went on to say that the child has been training and living in Iowa and that there are no black stylists (or stylists that can work with ‘our’ hair) in that area. 


However, I do have a different perspective to offer.  I have some personal insight into the life of a gymnast because I was one for about 8 years and for much of my gymnastics career I sported a Jheri Curl!  YES and YUCK!!!! A greasy, stinky when sweaty Jheri Curl.  However, during competitions my mom would slick that sucker back with that brown gel, put it in a pony tail and top it off with a scrunchie that usually matched my leotard.  My mom was always there making sure I look polished before meets and even during some meets was there to keep me looking my best.  In Gabby’s case, her mom is not allowed in the Olympic Village and can’t be ‘hands-on’ but  quite possibly, as a mom, she could have taken steps to make sure Gabby looked her best before departing for London. 

                                   Then: Wet adn Wild Jheri Curl                  Now: Relaxed & Slicked Back

With regard to how the media has attacked Gabby as well as other athletes, I think it stinks.  Truthfully, those representing us at the 30^th Olympic Games have some of the same problems that you and I face…foreclosures, bankruptcies and yes, bad weaves.  But once every four years, athletes young and old put everything they have on the line to represent this country in the greatest international sporting event.  I have been glued to the television since the opening ceremonies and I’ve cheered for Team USA and I’ve even cheered for others because what they all are doing is amazing. It’s disheartening to know that the U.S. media can’t find enough great stories in London and feel the need to dig up the financial records of our winning athlete’s parents or talk about a kid’s not so smooth hair. 


Lastly, as a black woman I have struggled with hair issues all my life.  I can imagine what Gabby feels every time she sees a Tweet, FB post or web article about her hair.  Even though she seems to be keeping her chin up it still has to hurt because it’s coming from people that look like her! In the black community, hair is a source of strength, criticism, brings out our insecurities and it allows us to be creative.  I’m guessing the coiff debate will go on forever, but in the meantime for all the Gabby’s out there and for all the other athletes that aren’t perfect in the media’s eyes, keep doing what you’re doing and being an example for us all!

Creating A Culture Where People Aren't Afraid To Speak Up

After a few weeks of being away from the mass media and consumed with other personal things I returned to reality, only to find the media clutter with more shootings, a horrific midnight theater massacre and the demise of a storied football and academic program. Even the Jackson Family feud got me thinking about something the president of the NCAA said as he announced the sanctions against Penn State, "We need to create a culture where people aren't afraid to speak up."



Those words couldn't hold more weight. We live in a world where the status quo is acceptable and/or seldom challenged; where we see wrong being done on a regular basis and stand silent and in other instances remain voiceless because we’re are forced to be silent for survival sake. I too may be guilt of being afraid to speak up because the culture in which I live or work isn't always conducive to voicing my opinion or even stating the obvious. At times it is hard to state the facts. As a communications professor, I know firsthand that it is the appropriate mix of verbal’s, non-verbal cues, empathy, correct information and the right constructs that make delivering information to others worthy. However, as I look deeper into what one really means when they say creating a culture where people aren't afraid to speak up, what is being suggested is that there is a level of accountability, respect and concern for self and others that motivates each of us to speak up when the situation calls for us to.


We can't continue to notice signs and ignore them. We can't sweep unethical behavior under the rug because of the individual who may be committing the unethical act. We can’t allow those around us whom we claim to love make reckless decisions without offering compassionate and constructive criticism of their actions.  It is heart wrenching to see so many young men hurt by one trusting coach; devastating to see an entire national perplexed by the deadly actions of one loner; painful to see three children thrust into the limelight at the center of a family feud; hurtful to see lives lost each day in urban cities where no one is willing to speak up; horrible to see unethical hiring practices and misuse of funds in school systems (right here in my own state of Delaware)…the list goes on. In many if not all of these examples there is someone who is turning a blind eye to what is going on, which increases the chances of more people being hurt. 



We shouldn’t think of ourselves as rats, feminists, activists or vigilantes if we speak up to right the wrong.  When we speak up against things that are immoral or unethical, we are doing what is biblical right and we are showing others true character and the strength of our faith and respect for mankind.



Let’s us all do our part to create a culture where we can have our voices heard.